he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
