do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
