I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
