So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Randomize
