my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
well you can't waste a boner
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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