If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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