I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
