dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
