feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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