when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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