Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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