Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
