So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
