Where did you get a picture of my penis
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
