I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Jerry, you need to find god
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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