Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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