I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
