Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
