Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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