I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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