Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Dear god my vagina.
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