id be glad to
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
