Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
