all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
