U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
thus making me awesome and them whores
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
