I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My liver just had a heart attack.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
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