I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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