how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize