Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
