You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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