Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Randomize
