she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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