I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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