i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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