I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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