You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize