Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize