I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
operation have a gay friend backfired
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
