Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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