Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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