Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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