i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
