My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
