Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
