what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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