Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
