You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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