I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Mom said you looked used
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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