We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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