He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I believe in your delicious
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
