HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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