If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
