Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
