whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
