Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
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