I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize