Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
