in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
