i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
