we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
