Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
