I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
