the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
