GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
