I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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